Thursday, 23 August 2012

Bronzed off that I didn't take a golden opportunity - and this cloud didn't come with a silver lining either

I was approached a few weeks before the Olympics by a person claiming to personally know contacts that would help me secure a lucrative position at the Opening Ceremony at the London 2012 Games. I didn't follow this up as, not only was I quite busy (I'd hired a Rug-Doctor to clean my carpets that same week), but the offer sounded too good to be true. It was also at the back of my mind that this might be a repeat of the April Fools Day pranks that I had been subjected to earlier in the year, only on a much grander scale (and not in April, obviously).

I am now in a position to say that there was indeed an Olympic job offer on the table, just waiting to be picked up by a talented magician, such as myself, and it looks as if I've missed out once again. It also turns out that the job was something a little more long term, spanning the whole two weeks of the Olympic Games, and not just one paltry night!

I actually found out completely by accident though. Let me explain, I took a trip to London during the Olympics, just to soak up the atmosphere. I couldn't afford to procure tickets to any of the events - although Synchronised Swimming was on offer at a good price, but I'm not watching that! However, I did get to view some events on large television screens that had been set up in Hyde Park - there was quite a crowd. One of the things that I was keen on doing was seeing the stadium for myself and so I took a trip to view it. I thought that the most convenient way to reach the stadium was to take a train journey. I boarded a train on what they now call the Overground (?). Well, I've heard of the Underground, but the Overground just seems like old rehashed British Rail lines with a fancy name attached (and a similar looking logo - a cheap imitation, you could say). I digress. On this train I saw a magician performing for travelling passengers. I was able to have a brief chat to him. His name was Danny Hall and he told me that he got the joint London 2012 and Transport for London job to entertain passengers using the public transport system during the games. It was thought that it was a good way to alleviate the stress usually associated with travelling. He also told me privately that the pay was very, very good - a great deal more than his usual earnings (Danny told me the actual figures, which I won't disclose in public, suffice to say that I was floored; the guy's earning an amazing sum - more that I have earned for the last seven of my gigs put together - and that's per day!). Anyway, he said he was introduced to the job by a guy named Rob Martin, who had some contacts with the Olympic committee. Apparently, Rob had a person lined up for the job, but had been let down; it was at this point the penny dropped...

Mediocre 'magician', Danny Hall, 'entertains' (?) passengers on a train, during the London 2012 Olympic Games

I watched his act with interest, which I have to say was not too bad, but I couldn't help thinking that had it been me performing, the passengers would probably have not got off at Stratford station to go to the Games (like they did with Danny), instead preferring to stay and see more of the Lemezmer magic!